1) Look cute and get permission to hop up on the couch. Jumping up without asking results in getting kicked off. Boo.
2) Throw your butt up in the air like you just don’t care.
3) Rub your face on the couch victoriously. Warning: this may result in hanging off the couch a bit.
4) Take care not to roll off.
5) Gather your bearings and look cute again.
6) Get a human to wrap you up into a puppy burrito. This ensures warmth in the winter.
7) Once a couch and blankie have been obtained, never ever leave the couch except to run or eat kibble.